Red vs Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles
by wchan39
Summary: CLAMP characters, Red vs Blue, capture the flag, guns, explosives, ranting and many other weird and crazy stuff...yep, it's gonna be one of those days. EPISODE 4 ADDED!
1. Prologue and Introductions

Red vs. Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles

By: wchan39

Well, after a long hiatus (and many fics I left still unfinished), I got this weird idea and decided to write it. Hope my writing didn't get rusty now (or in the near future) from the hiatus.

Oh, and there's some swearing and violence in this but nothing too extreme.

DISCLAIMER: All CLAMP characters that appears in this fic belongs to CLAMP (obviously), Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth and finally, Halo is owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

----------------

PROLOGUE AND INTRODUCTIONS

The camera finally stopped being static and shows three young men standing in front of a small grass field with a military base in the background.

"Hi, my name is Kamui Shirou from the angsty, bloody series X/1999."

"I'm Hideki Motosuwa from Chobits! It's my pleasure to meet you"

"And I'm Syaoran from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. You may have also seen my younger, cuter and magical alternate self in Cardcaptor Sakura."

Then, Kamui took a step forward.

"Now that we got the introductions out of the way, we're here to talk to you about an upcoming fan fiction series we and a lot more characters will be in eventually."

"This time, it'll be a crossover series between a lot of CLAMP characters, the Xbox first-person shooting game series, Halo and the popular web series Red vs. Blue!"

"In this story, a whole bunch of us CLAMP characters are getting sick and tired of being messed around, tortured, inflicted with a lot of excruciating pain..."

"Basically 'abused' in a nutshell." Syaoran added.

"Right! By both the villains in our respective series or by our evil female quartet of creators!"

"And after a long and gruesome argument, CLAMP decided to let us settle this once and for all."

"That's right! By having the abused and the abusers fight it out..."

"...Except that we can't use our powers from our respective series..."

"Which I don't have." Hideki muttered.

"...And we're can only use the weapons and the multiplayer map Blood Gulch (also known as Coagulation) of the Halo series."

"Which is basically a boxed in canyon in the middle of nowhere on some alien planet!"

"And we'll getting these cool SPARTAN armour with the colour of our choice! Hideki added.

"Well, that's basically all the time we got here. So join us next time at the first chapter of Red vs. Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles!"

"And we'll be meeting our new recruits too..."

Suddenly, an explosion went off behind the trio.

"SON OF A BITCH!" The trio screamed as they duck for cover.

Then, a massive tank rolled up into view, with Fuuma Monou behind the controls and Eriol Hiiragizawa sitting on of the tank, with a sniper rifle in hand.

"Hehehe...I think I'm enjoying this already..." Fuuma mused as he load up another cannon round ready to fire.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Kamui yelled out his 'Twin Star' while he and his teammates hide behind a rock (which appeared from out of nowhere) from the heavy gunfire, "You're not supposed to be here till the next chapter!"

Then Eriol answered (and firing a few rounds from his sniper rifle), "Well, we realised that seeing how we can't be 'evil' and screw up with your minds and stuff, so we decided to put all that into kicking your asses with heavy artillery!"

Hideki sighs.

"It's gonna be one of those stories again..."

"Anyway," Syaoran cut in as her face the viewers while Kamui and Hideki returned fire with their assault rifles, "The moral of this story is...wait! There's no moral! Screw it! Hope to see you in the upcoming first chapter, this is Syaoran signing off! Now, where's the hell is that rocket launcher..."

----------------------------

Well, there's the introduction. So what do you think? Hope it gave you a good impression of this new fic series I'll be writing. Don't worry, there will be more characters appearing throughout the course of this story. Just tell me your first impression when you review. If you like it, that's good. If you don't like it...at least tell me why and not pointless stuff like 'This sucks!' or 'I hate you! So therefore this story sucks!'

I should have the first chapter out in a few days so...see you there!

wchan39


	2. Episode 1

Red vs Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles

By: wchan39

I know, I haven't updated for a long time. Instead of rambling on about the things that got in my way of posting this new chapter, I decided to put them in point form to show you:

-Writer's block.

-Watching fansubbed animes.

-Went to Hong Kong and Macau for almost 3 months.

-Got lazy.

-Nintendo Wii (I love Legend of Zelda: Twilight princess!).

(NOTE: You'll probably see the same author's notes here in the latest chapter of my other fanfic 'Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies' which is also being updated at the same time).

Once again, I'm very sorry for making you all to wait.

Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read now.

DISCLAIMER: All CLAMP characters that appears in this fic belongs to CLAMP (obviously), Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth and finally, Halo is owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

-----------------------

Chapter One

-----------------------

Location; Blue Base. As usual, there's nothing much to do but stare down at the opposing Red team's base. Currently, it's Eriol Hiiragizawa's turn at guard duty but since there's almost interesting nothing out there to keep an eye on, he decided to pass the time by reading a book titled '1001 Ways to be EVIL to your enemies and cute little descendants (including their alternate universe counterparts)'.

Then Fuuma Monou walked by holding a can of wax that's for polishing his Shinken for the 7th time today due to boredom, saw Eriol reading and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Reading." Eriol answered, without even taking his eyes off the pages.

"Read what?" Fuuma asked as he tooked the book from Eriol, have a look at it, eyebrows raised as he gives it back to Eriol, "It's nothing but blank pages there!"

"I know. I'm just doing it to psyche out the Reds should they be watching us right about now you know, keeping up our 'evil' image."

"Oh, come on! As if they're watching us now."

With that, Fuuma went inside the base to polish his sword.

"You never know." Eriol said eerily.

000000000000000000000

At that precise moment over at Red Base, we see Hideki Motosuwa, the latest recruit of the Red army practicing his aiming at the shooting range. By shooting range its just a soda can on top of a rock and Hideki's trying hard to shoot it down with his Assault Rifle.

Next to him is Kamui Shiro, who's instructing Hideki and is currently very frustrated.

"Hey, rookie, how long have you been here?"

"Uhhhh...about 1 month, Sir!" Hideki replied and stopped firing.

"So, you've been here for 1 month...and you still can't aim your fking Rifle properly yet!?!?"

"I'm sorry, sir. But it's the Blues! I mean...did you see the way how they keep staring at us like that over at their base!? I bet he's already plotting all kinds of new nerarious schemes against us, again! Damn those evil Blue bastards! I'm too young to die and I'm still a virgin!"

"Oh, come on! They're probably just putting up a show to scare us." Hideki turned to the voice, which belongs to Syaoran who's currently standing next to him holding up two plates of stir fry noodles.

"Oh yeah? That's what they want you to think! But the moment we drop our guard, they'll be shooting us in the back!"

"Unlikely," Kamui reassured him, "They've been staring at us like that for the past two weeks without firing a round...I bet they're out of ammo or something."

"I wonder if that has anything to do with that large flash of light over at Blue Base two weeks ago." Syaoran mused.

000000000000000000000

"Hey, why aren't you shooting the Reds right now instead of just staring at them?" Seishiro asked Eriol as he comes out to the open.

"With what? My Sniper Rifle ran out of ammo!"

"How the hell is that possible!? We have an armory in the basement! Go stock up on ammo there!" Seishiro replied as he pulls out a cigarette and about to light it.

"I would have but then I remembered a few days back a certain fucking idiot decided to smoke in there and thus making the Blue base looked like the Fourth of July!" Eriol yells in anger, "Why the hell do you think there's a big hole in the middle of the base!?"

Seishiro quickly removed the cigarette from his mouth and puts it away.

"Oh...right."

Eriol sighs.

"Man...I hope our next supply drop comes very soon!"

000000000000000000000

"By the way, this noodle taste good! What's in it?"

"Instant ramen, soy sauce and Pocky."

"Oh, that's ni...wait a minute? Pocky!?" Hideki turned to Syaoran in shock. "What in God's name possessed you to add chocolate-coated pretzels into stir-fry noodle!?!?"

"Well, that's all we have left for our food supplies, instant ramen and Pocky! I doubt you want to drink soy sauce and I don't hear you complaining about the taste!"

"Well, that's Syaoran for you!" Kamui pointed out as he suddenly appeared, "I bet he can cook garbage and still somehow make it tast good."

"I DID cooked garbage before, remember!?"

Hideki remembered, "OH! You mean those really delicious yellow vegetables you made last month?"

"That was banana peels, you moron!"

Kamui paled.

"But...why on earth did you cooked garbage back then!?"

"The two of you dared me to do it, remember!? You even made a $100 bet on it!"

"But still, how in the hell did you able to cook garbage and make it taste good? That doesn't seem physically possible!"

"Hell if I know!" Syaoran replied, "My secondary job here besides shooting the enemy is just to make sure none of us starve to death!"

"I guess it's one of those unsolved mysteries of the universe." Kamui muttered to himself, "Anyway, we've just received some new info from Command. Looks like we'll be getting a new recruit here."

"Oh great...a rookie!"

"And our new recruit should be arriving here..."

Then, a Pelican dropship can be seen on the horizon flying inbound for the Red base's position.

"...right about now."

"Wow, that was fast." Hideki said in awe.

000000000000000000000

Let's take a look back at Blue Base...

Seishiro is sitting down on the ground surrounded by countless empty beer cans, empty vodka bottles, empty whiskey bottles and right now he's chugging down his 5th bottle of Whiskey and firing his handgun at this weird white creature with rabbit-like ears and a round ruby center on its forehead who's also currently tied down to a pole in front of a target.

Okay, guess we should be moving on then...

--------------------

Finally, I've gotten the first chapter online!

Actually I was stumped on writing this chapter but then during the writing of the latest set of parodies for Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies, the ideas just comes along and just pour some of it over here.

Seriously I have no idea when I will be putting up the next chapter so instead of making empty promises to you all and resulting in you wanting to throw bricks at me out of anger I decide to be blunt here.

So, hope to see you soon!

wchan39


	3. Episode 2

Red vs Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles

By: wchan39

Okay, I know I have said it like a million times but I am sorry for the long updates. My reasons are basically the same as why the last chapter was updated so late...but it's mainly laziness and my Xbox 360.

I mean, everytime I finally decide to get down and try to write this, there's a new game that I get hooked on! I mean, there was Dynasty Warriors: Gundam, Naruto: Rise of a Ninja, Project Sylpheed, Ninety-Nine Nights, and of course online gaming with Dead or Alive 4, Gears of War and of course, Halo 3!!!

Even when I'm done with the Xbox 360, then there's the Nintendo Wii to contend with, like Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles and Super Mario Galaxy. And I AM really pissed off that I REALLY wanted to play Super Smash Bros Brawl BUT unfortunately since I live in Australia, I probably have to wait until around June/July to play that game while Japan and America are having fun with it already!!!

Okay, enough ranting.

I finally was able to get away from my games LONG ENOUGH to complete this chapter! And I'm really sorry for all this waiting.

So without further ado, let's get this fanfic rolling!

DISCLAIMER: All CLAMP characters that appears in this fic belongs to CLAMP (obviously), Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth and finally, Halo is owned by Bungie and Microsoft. Any other copyrighted materials mentioned in this fanfiction (unless specified otherwise) are the properties of their respective owners.

-----------------------

Chapter Two

-----------------------

Words cannot describe the awe that Eriol and Fumma has now as they upon their brand new weapon to be used to kill all the Reds.

Their supply drop came around not long ago, so the Blue team have resupplied with food, field equipments, medical supplies, entertainment-related items, toiletries, weapons, ammo and of course (in Seishiro's case) LOTS and LOTS of booze.

But this time around, Blue Command has given something extra to the Blue Team.

That something is a Scorpion-Class M808B Main Battle Tank.

This tank is primarily an anti-vehicle weapons platform and also has very high anti-infantry capabilities. It's main cannon on top will basically destroy anything it hits, with a machinegun as its secondary weapon when reloading the main cannon. Its ceramic-titanium armour also makes it nearly invulnerable to small arms fire.

In other words, this tank will KICK ASS!

"You know what? I can probably blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing." Fumma said as he runs his hand across a small section of the tank.

"Dibs!" Fuuma suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Eriol asked.

"Dibs! I called dibs on taking a test drive with the tank!"

"What? You can't do that, jackass!"

"Yes, you can! Everyone knows about the International 'Dibs' Protocol! Whoever calls 'dibs' on something first gets it!"

"You know what? I fucking hate you!"

0000000000000000000000000

The new recruit, completely decked out in pink armour looks considerably short compared to the other members of Red Team. The recruit took off its helmet and reveals a young girl with light-brown hair down to her neck with twin pigtails and two emerald-green eyes.

And not to mention she looks like this cutest little thing you have ever seen, which is highly unusual to find someone of this kind on a battlefield.

"Hello! I am Medical Officer Sakura Kinomoto, reporting for duty, sir!"

The three current members of Red Team just stared at their new recruit. Hideki was the first one to break the silence.

"Seriously, this is the rookie? I mean...she's a girl! Not only that, she's just a kid!"

"Hey! We ain't that different either!" Kamui retorted, "We're all kids when we joined and right now, none of us here are even past 18 yet!"

Kamui turns to Sakura.

"Anyway, I'm Captain Kamui Shiro, welcome to Red Base. This guy next to me is Private Hideki Motosuwa and finally, there's...hey! Where did Syaoran go?"

Then, Syaoran comes running back carrying a rocket launcher behind him.

"Check this out! Command has finally sent us some rocket launchers that has the auto-lock system!"

But as he caught a glimpse of the new recruit, he slowed down to a stop where the Red Team is standing around.

"Sakura, is that you?"

She turns at Syaoran, squeals and rund over to him and gives him this massive hug.

"I can't believe this! You're actually here, Syaoran!?"

"You better believe it!"

"So, how have you been lately?"

"Oh, the usual. Going places, shooting stuff and having to put up with idiots of teammates here..."

"HEY! I resent that!!!" Hideki yelled.

"So, how do the two of you know each other?" Kamui asked.

0000000000000000000000000

Admist the countless empty beer cans, empty vodka bottles, empty whiskey bottles, Seishiro has fallen asleep some time ago to sleep off the alcohol he had consumed before (he chugged down his 12th bottle of Whisky before falling asleep). But his slumber is suddenly interrupted when a a huge explosion can be heard and it shook the whole base.

"SON OF A BITCH!!! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! WOMEN AND CHILDREN LAST!!!"

With that, Seishiro took off like the wind but still yelling and screaming as as if he's a headless chicken admist the explosions coming from outside. But then he comes straight back and searches through the heap of both broken and unbroken alcohol bottles until he found an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels and gives it a tight hug like as if it's his baby.

"You're the last one and I'm not letting you get away from me."

He gave the bottle a kiss and ran outside.

When he rushes outside, instead of being greeted by his assumed attackers, he sees Fuuma who is now driving this massive battle tank and keep firing the main cannon at the thick walls of the base.

"What the...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!? Seishiro yelled coherently due to a moment there his brain forgetting about the alcohol in his blood.

At that same moment, Fumma is looking over the controls in front of him.

"Whoops! I guess that was the wrong button!"

"Fumma, I told you many times already! DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THE FUCKING BUTTONS!!!" Eriol screamed for the upteenth time.

"Don't worry, I'll figure out how to drive this thing in no time!"

"You're gonna break it! Or end up killing one of us! Either way, that's a very BAD thing!"

"Trust me, I will have it under control!" Fumma said with sudden renewed confidence and goes back to messing with the controls.

0000000000000000000000000000

Back at Red Base, some time after everyone has been introduced to Sakura, Red Team's new recruit/medic, who is currently moving her stuff into her room right now, leaving the rest of the Red Team around chatting.

"So let me get this straight, you used to be a dimensional traveller because you needed to save your childhood friend Sakura by retrieving her memories which is in forms of feathers and they're scattered in different dimensions, am I right so far?" Kamui recounted.

"Yep." Syaoran answered.

"So, this Sakura here right now as our new medic is actually an alternate dimension version of YOUR Sakura that you met on your journey and later on became friends with."

"That's about it in a nutshell."

Then Hideki goes up to Syaoran and puts his hand on Syaoran's shoulder.

"Syaoran, my good buddy. All three of us know that we've been out here in the middle of this hellhole of a boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere for too long now and because of that, we have that 'itch' that any normal guy would have. When that happens, you can just tell us about it whenever you want and we won't laugh at you for it. So you don't have to come up with that elaborate story about you and Sakura just to hide the fact that you're a lolicon!"

"Okay, I understand that...wait! What did you just say!?!?"

0000000000000000000000000000

Meanwhile, back at Blue Base...

"OH GOD!!! OH PLEASE GOD, NOOOOO!!!"

Thanks to Fumma's 'driving', the Blue Team's brand new tank has claimed one casualty...but then again whether or not this is a 'casualty' is a matter of opinion.

But in Seishiro's case, his precious bottle of Jack Daniels now lies in a heap of broken glass and spilled alcohol under the treads of the Blue Team's new tank counts as a casualty.

"Uhhh...third time's the charm?"

Hearing that, Seishiro cries.

Eriol can't take this anymore so he raised his gun at Fuuma's head (who's still in the tank).

"That's it! Get off the tank...NOW!!!"

"I promise I'll get it right this time!"

"Forget it! You screwed up enough times you me to take your 'Tank test-driving' privileges!"

Of course, Seishiro's still crying over his spilled alcohol, screaming "WHY!?!? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE YOU!?!? WWWHHHYYYYYY!?!?!?"

Finally in a defeated manner, Fumma got off the tank and went over to the sobbing Seishiro and tries to start a conversation with him.

"Come on, buddy! Don't feel so bad. I mean, it's just a bottle of whisky..."

Seishiro stopped his sobbing, turns his head at Fumma giving the scariest Death Glare of Doom™ he has ever made in his life.

"Whoa, man! Are you alright..."

The next thing Fumma knew was that he heard a loud blood-curdling scream coming from his (usually) drunk teammate, gets tackled down on the dirt, grabbed by the collar and repeatedly getting his banged on the ground interchanged with some powerful strangling.

"MY PRECIOUS! YOU KILLED MY PRECIOUS!!! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

As a spectator of this one-sided brawl, Eriol sighs.

"I'm surrounded by assholes..."

000000000000000000000

I've mentioned it before in some way but I'll say it again.

It may have took me several months...no, wait! Just over 1 year to be exact, to finally complete this chapter but I'm glad that I've done it!

I hoped you enjoyed this and I'm happy to see any feedbacks for this. Not to sound like I'm begging for reviews or anything but you have to admit that getting reviews WILL do wonders in motivating writers to continue writing.

So, unless there's another game that comes along and takes up my time, I don't think my next update will take that long.

So until then, see you later!

(Noticed that Advance Wars: Days of Ruin is out now on the DS)

"Oh, you son of a..."


	4. Episode 3

Red vs Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles

By: wchan39

OH MY DEAR GOD! LOOK AT THIS!!! IT ONLY TOOK ME JUST OVER A MONTH TO UPDATE THIS FIC...

...Is what I'll like to say.

But DAMN! It took me another year to update!?!?

I can't help it!!! It's my Xbox 360 again!!! It just keeps sucking me in...IT'S CRAZY!!!

There was Devil May Cry 4, Ace Combat 6, The Idolmaster: Live for You, Gears of War 2 and Street Fighter 4!!!

Oh, and there's the addictively fun PS2 game called Ar Tonelico (a J-RPG/Visual Novel game with LOTS of hilarious sexual innuendos!)

But...despite all that, I was still able to write this chapter so...that's something, eh?

Whoever that's reading this and still around to see this update; sorry for the lateness and enjoy this chapter.

DISCLAIMER: All CLAMP characters that appears in this fic belongs to CLAMP (obviously), Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth and finally, Halo is owned by Bungie and Microsoft. Any other copyrighted materials mentioned in this fanfiction (unless specified otherwise) are the properties of their respective owners.

-----------------------

Chapter Three

-----------------------

Back at the Blue Base, Seishiro (with shovel in hand) is standing in front of a small recently dug grave with a gravestone on it that says:

'Here lies a bottle of Jack Daniels I never drank.'

"Rest in peace, little fella."

With that, Seishiro salutes.

In the background we see Eriol with his trademark smug on his face and Fuuma who now has one black eye and finger marks on his neck.

"I can't believe I put up with this shit just because of one damn bottle of booze I broke!"

"Well, he WAS drunk! You of all people should know what he's like when he's drunk! Not to mention it serves you right for not listening to me when I told you to get off the tank in the first place!"

"But we're supposed to be a team! You know, all that 'brothers in arms'stuff and the cama...camma-raderie or whatever they call that crap and how we're not to shoot or team-kill each other?

"We are a what, now?" Eriol asked while he's scraping off the dirt off in the inside of his fingernails with the tip of his combat knife.

Fuuma sighs.

"I bet the Reds don't have to put up with this kind of crap..."

000000000000000000000

"What the fuck? I'm not a lolicon!!!"

Right now, the Red Team are dealing with some 'weird' information they found out about their fellow soldier. Of ourse Syaoran didn't want Sakura to hear this so he sent her off to put her things down in her room.

Meanwhile, Hideki just won't shut the hell up.

"Ever heard of the river in Egypt, De Nile?" Hideki replied.

Syaoran just stares at Hideki for a moment.

"...That's the lamest thing I've ever heard! In fact, who the hell even uses that line in this day and age???"

"Oh, come on! It's was so obvious! I mean, who the hell would believe that 'dimension travelling' story," Hideki says as he makes the speech marks with his fingers between 'dimension travelling', "You should just come outright and admit that you have a thing for little girls instead of embarrassing yourself like this."

"I DID went to other dimensions!"

"Bullshit! It sounded like something out of a crappily-made fanfiction from some hormonal pre-teen fangirl!"

"How the hell would you know? Don't tell me you read that shit?"

"Ummmm...no. But my co-worker from my old part-time job did. She would talk about it non-stop and even cry when 'this' and 'that' happens."

Insert awkward silence between Syaoran and Hideki here.

"Look...the point is, I am not into girls that are way younger than me. Sakura-chan is just a friend to me." Syaoran interjected.

"OH! So it's 'Sakura-chan' now?"

Syaoran groans.

"Yes, I call her that. So what?"

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura said poked her head outside the door, "I can't seem to find the bathroom here."

"It's to the left of the living quarters."

"Thanks!" Sakura replied and went back inside the base.

Hideki smirked and turns to Syaoran.

"So...'Syaoran-kun', is it?"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Damn...you're 'training' her at this age already?"

Syaoran's eyes twitched.

"Well, if you like them young, I guess it makes sense that you're starting them young..."

And there goes Syaoran's patience.

"Sir! Permission to shoot Private Motosuwa in the kneecaps?"

"Denied! Even though as much as I'll like to see that, I can't let you do that. But I will allow you to beat him up!"

"Thank you, sir!"

"WHAT!?!?"

The last things Hideki saw before everything went black was Syaoran swinging the butt of his rifle into his face and then a brief flash of red.

000000000000000000000

After that small 'funeral' Seishiro is now sat down in a fetal position next to the grave still moping around. Eriol and Fuuma decided to leave him be in his living quarters for now.

Especially when they saw him in that state whimpering "Oh, Jack...my poor Jack..."

Yep! Definitely need to walk away from this...NOW!

000000000000000000000

Let's take a look up at the top of the Red base where Kamui is currently using his sniper rifle to scope out the area with Hideki at his side.

"Sir, what are you looking for exactly?" Hideki asked, while holding an ice pack over his sore and swollen cheek.

"I'm not sure. I remember there was all these explosions coming from the Blue base a while ago, I can't seem to make out what caused it."

"What if the Blues got some kind of new secret weapon?"

"It's possible...then again, I do hope if they do have one, it blew up with those explosions."

"Or that could've been part of their secret weapon!"

"A secret weapon that blows up your own base? I seriously doubt it."

Meanwhile, Syaoran and Sakura are together inside the base, catching up on old times.

"So, how's your family back home?" Syaoran asked, leaning on the entrance of Sakura's new room.

"Dad is doing just fine, although he does feel a bit lonely seeing how his children are now in the military." Sakura replied, while unpacking her clothes.

"Speaking of which, what's your big brother up to now?"

"Well...he recently got demoted back to Private."

Syaoran sighs.

"I probably can guess why but...what did he do?"

"He..." Sakura started, "...was very against me joining up to the point that...well, he went crazy and ended up hitting his superior officer."

"Ah! So basically, he's still an overly-protective prick?"

Sakura giggled.

"That's one way to put it."

000000000000000000000

Back at the Blue Base...

"Hey, check this out!" Eriol yelled out to Fuuma.

"What is it?"

"Blue Command has also sent us some new equipment they want us to field test."

"What kind of equipment?" Fuuma asked.

"Some kind of Do-It-Yourself Robot Kit."

"Really? What kind of robot?"

"I guess, the kind that looks really human-like?" Eriol said as he held up the DIY Robot Kit that has a front cover of what the robot could end up looking like; a robot that looks like s teenage girl with white-blondish hair that goes down to her knees and has these weird looking metallic cat-like ears.

"Why not give it a shot? Having a robot around could help us with killing the Reds!"

"Already ahead of you!" Eriol exclaimed as he pulls out the instruction manual and start reading it, "Thank you for accepting to test the experimental multi-purpose android unit aka 'Persocom'..."

000000000000000000000

Sigh...I seriously need to NOT update my fanfics in what seems to be a yearly basis...

BTW, I'm sure you can guess from the ending who will eventually show up later in the story.

As for Seishirou's whimpering, it's based on an episode of The Simpsons where Homer is raising a lobster to eat but in the end he didn't have the heart to cook him and thus made him his pet and named the lobster Pinchy...only to later on accidentally cooked him while giving Pinchy a hot water bath. This leads to Homer eating Pinchy while crying and whimpering about his 'poor Pinchy'.

That and having him whimpering about a 'Jack' is a reference/joke/jab/bash/whatever to all the yaoi fanfics that depicts him along with all the male cast of X/1999 as homosexuals (Well, CLAMP didn't help much either, especially with their style of 'unusual' pairings and relationships).

As for Touya...will he be showing up in this fic? Wait and see...

Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to make my next update NOT sometime next year...again.

But then...there's Halo Wars I wanna play and the upcoming Resident Evil 5...

In the meantime, please read AND review!


	5. Episode 4

Red vs Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles

By: wchan39

GASP! I actually updated this fic aaaaannnnndddd...BIGGER GASP! It didn't even take me a year to do it!!!

That's right! I was able to get away from Resident Evil 5 long enough to write this!

Hopefully, I would make this more of a habit from now on.

Also, now that 'fanficton dot net' has a crossover section, this fanfic will eventually be moved there. SO if you don't find this fic anymore in the CLAMP section...well, now you know where it is.

But for now, enjoy reading this chapter.

DISCLAIMER: All CLAMP characters that appears in this fic belongs to CLAMP (obviously), Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth and finally, Halo is owned by Bungie and Microsoft. Any other copyrighted materials mentioned in this fanfiction (unless specified otherwise) are the properties of their respective owners.

-----------------------

Chapter Four

-----------------------

It's night time over here at the Blood Gulch canyon. Everyone in the Blue are fast asleep...

...except for one.

Eriol has spent the last few days building that robot Blue Command has sent for them to field-test. Now all that's left is install its custom OS and activate it.

He took a can of Red Bull, downed its contents and threw the can to the side, where its joins the company of 47 other empty Red Bull cans littered everywhere on the ground around him.

"Finally...several days of no proper eating, drinking and showering...it's ALIVE!!!"

Then, Eriol proceeds to let out a loud cliché maniacal laugh...

CRASH!!!

...when suddenly an empty glass bottle flew outta nowhere and shattering as it hits Eriol's head. The powerful blow has knocked Eriol out completely, falling face flat on the laptop has was using to install the OS on the robot.

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!?!? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!"

After his short outburst, a pissed off Seishiro left for his bed.

What everyone wasn't aware was that the blow on Eriol's head has caused him to bleed a lot, soaking his laptop in blood and short-circuiting it.

Now, the laptop screen is flashing 'ERROR!' in red...

000000000000000000000

Let's look at the Red base...

Obviously, they're all sleeping, looking (or not) forward to another day filled with nothing but trying to kill all the Blues...

...only to have weird noises interrupt them.

Syaoran eyes shot opened as he noticed some weird noise coming from somewhere in the base. Quietly, he got up from his bed, grabbed his handgun and head out the door to his room, aiming his sidearm forward, in case anything tries to do harm to him.

"FREEZE!"

Syaoran jumped and aimed his weapon at the direction of the voice.

Here, we see that all four members of the Red Team; Syaoran, Kamui, Hideki and Sakura are at the same plae, pointing their guns at each other.

A moment later, all of them let out sighs of relieves and lowered their weapons.

"What the hell are you guys doing out here!?" Kamui yelled.

"I heard some weird noises and decided to check it out." Syaoran replied.

"Uhh...yeah, I was doing that too." Hideki added.

"What of those noises are coming from ghosts!?" a scared Sakura asked.

Her teammates stared at her.

"You're still afraid of ghosts?" Syaoran asked.

Sakura was about to answer when Kamui motioned them to be quiet and all of them hear that weird sound again.

Then, all of them slowly approach to the origin of the noise. Eventually it lead them into their kitchen and all four of them are hiding behind one of the cabinets there. The origin of he noises in question turns out to be that someone or something is currently raiding their fridge of its edible cotents.

"You think it's some kind of alien?" Hideki whispered.

"Whatever it is, it sounds like it's eating our food..." Sakura trailed off.

"Bastard!" Kamui spat out quietly.

"So, what now?" Syaoran asked.

"Alright...on the count of three, we shoot that damn thing! Ready?"

All of them nodded their head.

"...THREE!!!"

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"AAAHHHH!!! HOLY SHIT!!!" The 'thing' in question screamed, which turns out to be some small yellow thing that resembles some sort of a stuffed animal zips around in mid-air, dodging incoming bullets.

"Oh my God!" Hideki screamed, "Sakura's right! It IS a ghost!"

"Kero-chan?"

Everyone paused at Sakura's reaction.

"Wait...he's here!?!?" Syaoran asked.

"Sakura!" The yellow stuffed animal creature yelled, while jumping into Sakura's arms.

"Kero-chan! You stowed away in my backpack again!?" Sakura asked.

"But it's boring back home!" Kero whined, "Your dad's on another archeological dig, your brother is still shipped off somewhere and there isn't any food left either!"

"Thinking with your stomach, as always." Syaoran muttered.

"Oh, the brat's here too?" Kero said deadpanned.

"Nice to see you too, stuffed animal." Syaoran replied, sarcastically.

"AAAHHHHH!!!"

Everyone turned to the scream and sees a weeping Hideki on the ground next to the half-emptied fridge.

"The food...THE FOOD!!!"

Hideki stood up and points his gun at Kero.

"AAHHH!!!" Kero shrieked, hiding behind Sakura, "See? SEE!? The brat and those two maniacs was trying to kill me!!!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MANIAC, YOU FLOATING BATH SPONGE!?!?" Hideki screamed.

CHOMP!

Hidei screamed as he swings his arm back and forth, trying to get rid of Kero, who has currently sunk his teeth into Hideki's index finger in retaliation for the bath sponge remark.

Finally, he was able to throw off Kero and immediately starts shooting a fleeing, dodging and scared shitless Kero.

Syaoran then joins Hideki in shooting Kero.

"DAMMIT! WE JUST GOT RESUPPLIED!!!" Syaoran yelled, on top of the loud gunshots.

An extremely worried Sakura look to Kamui as if asking for help but all Kamui did was was put his hand on Sakura's shoulder in a comforting manner.

"Don't worry...they'll cool down in a few minutes...hope your little friend can last that long, though."

000000000000000000000

"Eriol? Eriol! WAKE UP, GODDAMN IT!!!"

Eriol immediate snaps awake and frantically looks around his surroundings. He noticed that it's already moring and Fuuma was the one that woke him up just now.

"What happened to you head?" Fuuma asked.

Eriol examined his head with his hand, withdrew and noticed it now that it's covered in partially dried blood.

"How the...who the hell did this to me!?"

Then he looks around and sees glass fragments on the floor...looks like it originated from a glass bottle.

"Seishiro? Oh, that son of a..."

"Where's the robot?"

"Wha...?"

Eriol looked at his workstation and realised that the robot he was trying to activate last night was no longer there.

"What the fuck!? It was here last night!"

Eriol looks down to his laptop and noticed tha it's covered in blood and the screen is flashing 'ERROR'.

"Oh, shit..."

000000000000000000000

Well, looks like there's gonna be a lot of stuff going 'KABOOM!' real soon, huh?

Anyway, I hope you like this slightly faster update and would like to hear more of your feedback. Whether its praise, constructive criticism, story ideas etc. just hit that review button at the bottom of this page and start typing.


End file.
